Hello everyone, everywhere,

The last week or so has been quite interesting. I’ve found that my greatest strength is in my undying belief in just going on. The obstacles that I have felt (or maybe caused) in the last year or so have taken a toll on me. I had just lost my best friend and it just seemed like it all got crazy for a long time. My greatest hope is that everyone involved can just rest now. Rest is what we all need. I need to focus on my new castle and writing. I’m very excited.

Michelle and Dean have taken extraordinary care of me. Beyond what anybody should be given. I’m so thankful that they were here for me. Anyways, aside from that, playing in the band, the weather, it’s all starting to work out. Let’s smile everybody; the sun is finally warming us up. That’s it.

And now it’s time to close our eyes and our thoughts, if only for a moment and…rest. Until we meet again at Derek and Wanda Spraul’s Home of Spraul Knife Throwing and Meditation Classes. (Folks to save you money we do it all in our basement!) Our motto is If you can’t cry it out, huck a cleaver. You’ll find us easy. We’re on the corner of Didyouseemywallet Avenue and I’llhaveanotherroundforthehouse Street. If you see Elmer with a hankie and a blue hat you went too far.



Fred Smiley is an odd ball, at least to some. To put it right, Fred is happy walking to his own song. (So to speak).

Fred works at the local grocery store. Not just any store, the Asphalt Falls grocery store. The big one, right on the corner of Dapper Street.

Asphalt Falls is a mighty fine place, if you ask Fred Smiley. Population: scattered. It gets darn crazy around census time.

Now Fred has one weird habit: his cat Simon. Simon is a very nervous cat. I’m sure Fred doesn’t help. He’s a very nervous guy.

At home when Fred rests on his couch his cat Simon sits on his head. Fred doesn’t mind. In fact when his head gets too warm he turns the heat down.

One day Fred and Simon go out in the car (Fred is shopping). But you see folks, to keep his cat Simon calm in the car, (you got it), Fred puts him on his head.

Driving down Main Street with a cat on your head gets some funny looks from strangers.

Fred stops at a crosswalk to let an elderly couple cross. The old lady says to Fred, “My what an extraordinary hat you have.” Fred smiles and waves. (Nice folks, the elderly).

Finally his destination. Fred gets out and heads into the store. Although he does forget the cat is on his head, sleeping. Fred is used to the cat sleeping on his head.

Unfortunately for Fred the store clerk has about 50 caged birds. And as the clerk is telling Fred Smiley what a unique hat he has on, Simon wakes up.

Simon sees the birds chirping and he starts climbing after them. (Don’t worry folks, the cages are locked up, and Simon is so old that he gets tired from trying to climb and Fred just puts him back on his head).

Fred Smiley looks at the clerk and says, “I don’t suppose you could show me a canary.”

The clerk is sweating badly and stutters to Fred, “Sir, I will only show you the door.” (Folks he is kicking Fred out).

So Fred leaves Pincel’s Bird Shop.

As he is walking to his car, two pretty girls walk by. They are giggling at Fred and say, “My what a lovely hat you have sir.”

Fred is going to say, “Thanks girls.” Instead Simon waves his tail in Fred’s face. The girls run off laughing.

Fred Smiley thinks to himself, my what a lovely hat, those girls said. He drives home thinking, yep, I’ll go with that.

That’s all.


By jamesghutcheson

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