Hello everyone, everywhere,
Okay, it’s been a funny week. The sun’s been out but the wind’s been cold. So you want to wear your shorts and your mitts at the same time. You’re never sure what’s going to happen next.
Michelle and I are going to a concert in Edmonton on Tuesday. We’re going to see Whitney Rose. She plays an eclectic set of…I’m not sure. But I’m sure it’s going to be great. Michelle said I’m going, so off we’ll go to enjoy this concert.
Other than that..I’m pretty settled in to the new castle now. And I’m putting that weight on that I left behind awhile ago. Michelle weighs me every week and if it’s not going up, I get a boot and it’s out the door I go. And Dean’s always there to help. That’s it.
And now it’s time to close our eyes and our thoughts, if only for a moment…and rest. Until we meet again at Smiley and Rona Flank’s World Famous Home of the Great Boom Box Contest Debate. What’s better? Quad From 1972 or New Stuff? And Hello to First Time Hearing Aid Wearers. Luckily we fenced in Floyd Kaflapp’s front yard. Rona had planted her flowers, so it was no to our back yard. I’d say big hats off to the whole Kaflapps family. Remember our motto: If you can’t hear and you’re new but the babies are crying anyway, we’ve got plugs! You’ll find us handily at Nicepantstheylookalotlikemine Street and Youoweonyourcableandthezippersticks Crescent, right across the street from Gertie Till’s. If you see her it’s best to smile and say, “Lovely day, General!” That’s it.
ZESTER SMILES AGAIN
Zester Familiar. Smooth talking, good looking, in his mind a perfect ten. Old Zester loved to say hello. Can’t remember a darn thing. (Oh skibbleknockers). New neighbourhood. Hoodwink Estates. The finest in home trailers, though the clause says to live in Hoodwink you have to buy your trailer from them. Unfortunately for you folks, they come in one style, one colour, and to save a buck you pick your own number.
Zester Familiar had not just a bit of memory loss, but he still had to deal with people. Like folks saying, “Oh you have a lovely smile.” Zester thought, oh this attention must mean–hey fella, stay up late tonight and watch (you got it baby) reruns!
Zester was lost. He needed to find his trailer. So what do you do? You go find your friends. Zester started with his best friend Neil Zipp. Lanky, lives with his mom, had personal goals. Wanted to graduate and have a grade 12 diploma. Sadly he was two grades off that diploma when he left school to pursue a new career working in the sewers. Neill wrote a note to self: If you work in a sewer don’t wear a suit the first day.
And then of course there was Fester Uptown. (No relation).
There they were, three mostly spent, in fact so spent the okay times were the best they were getting: Zester Familiar, Neil Zipp, and of course Fester Uptown (no relation). The plan: find Zester’s new trailer. Did I mention Hoodwink Estates contains a hundred and forty of the exact same trailers? (Well they do….so go tell Nancy).
Neil Zipp piped in, “Look guys, at the Slavanskys on the corner. Theirs is 1970. And next to them, the Lacey’s. Number 14.”
Midge Lacey herself said, “Neil, we can sit 14 very well for the big feast.” (Get it?)
Then Fester Uptown jumped in and blurted, “I will bring a chair and join you.” Midge looked at Fester who had missed his chair and was now on the ground grinning. “Thank you sir, though 14 is definitely not, or could ever be, 15. Watch yourself getting up, for you sir, are nothing more than a scallywag.”
Zester rolled his eyes and said, “Good story, Neil Zipp.”
The quest carried on. Row after row they went. Nothing. Or so they thought. On row 15 they took a break and Zester said, “I know I can be a bit off, but every trailer has a number except that one back in row 2.” Zester and the boys schmoozed on the idea.
Out of the blue, or red, or yellow, (pick your own colour), Neill Zipp exclaimed, “You used your lucky number Zester!”
“Six,” yelled Zester. “That’s my lucky number because…think…think…just think a little more…I’ve got nothin’.”
Fester Uptown (no relation) reached into his back pocket, pulled out a plastic card with (come on, you’re kidding me right?) (shhh, imaginary audience), a number six on it.
Neill Zip thought…tap…tap…hey, I wonder if that trailer with no number…. They all looked at each other and their eyes lit up. They rushed back thirteen rows as fast as they could rush. And ooh la la. (That’s French for hey that’s your trailer). For sure enough, they tried the key…it opened. Hurray! (Quick pause while Zester pushed Fester Uptown (no relation) into the snow beside the trailer).
And in that moment we saw Zester Familiar smile. That’s all.
(NEVER EVER GIVE UP)