Hello everyone, everywhere,

This week started with my band, Soulful Noize, in the new studio. Unfortunately my drums have not arrived yet, but the studio is phenomenal. There are some quirks that need to be fixed, but they are getting done quickly. The people that put this together are just fantastic.

Also, I had my other eye done. Cataracts are gone in both eyes and I’m 20-20, but I still have to wear glasses for reading. I told a woman today that I was sixty and she didn’t believe me! I almost had to pull out my ID. It’s hard to be old.

The story that I’m giving you tonight is the conclusion of The Hedge. It’s the short version. The long version will be in my collection which I hope to be publishing soon.

And now it’s time to close our eyes and our thoughts, if only for a moment…and rest. And now may I present…



And now we are going back to…the hedge.

Oh, Davey Kufnik did see the hedge looking at him, and the hedge was wearing slippers. Well folks, to be honest, it wasn’t the hedge wearing the slippers and hedges don’t have eyes, right? Oh no, these eyes and slippers belonged to none other than Lucinda Dorsett Lugnell.

Lucinda Dorsett Lugnell —age 77. Height 5’ 2”. Grey-blue hair and little beady eyes hiding behind the oddest looking glasses, and a sneer to go with them. You know what bugged Lucinda? Kids bugged her. Cats, dogs, and birds bugged her. In fact, everything bugged her.

Lucinda had her own gang, the Buttersweet Lane Ladies’ Bridge Club. The Buttersweet Lane Ladies’ Bridge Club consisted of Lucinda and her friend Nettie Phelps, who had a severe case of nervousness but she did always listen to Lucinda’s grips. Then there was Wilma Slinkin. She was seventy, but she was a real spirited woman. She was Lucinda’s real crony in this gang, kind of like the second banana. And finally little Penelope Beanslow. She was 72. She was little, but she was feisty.

As Davey walked away to get his gang, Lucinda laughed to herself from behind the hedge and walked back to her house to wait for her bridge club to arrive.

Promptly at 6:59, the rest of the Buttersweet Lane Ladies’ Bridge Club ladies arrived at Lucinda’s house. Lucinda said, “Girls, let’s give these kids a scare. It will be a riot.” They all agreed to stand behind the hedge. Scare ’em good and send ’em packin’ down the street.

Davey and his gang sent Donny out on surveillance to see if the pair of slippers and the eyes were still at the hedge. When Donny returned he said, “There are four sets of eyes and four sets of slippers! And the hedge was laughing!”  Davey mulled it around and remembered. Every Tuesday Lucinda Lugnell and her friends play on a bridge or something like that.

Now he knew there were no laughing hedges so he figured they were trying to scare them. Davey grabbbed his dad’s hose and sprinkler, and as he got close to the hedge he let her go. The girls started yelling and screaming and ran for the house with Lucinda Lugnell shaking her fist and yelling, “As sure as this is 1955, this isn’t over!” (But it was).

Davey’s gang all laughed. The case of the hedge with eyes and slippers was solved.

That’s all.

(Never ever give up).

By jamesghutcheson

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