Hello everyone, everywhere,
Today started out just beautifully; the weather is cooperating, and at rehearsal we watched the video of our Friday show. Because we are perfectionists we, of course, found our own glitches, but all in all, it was one hell of a show. I leave these shows now totally sober and totally humbled. I never stop until I look up and tell brother Merv, “It was a good one today.” When I do that it just warms me inside. It’s funny all the tales people tell, but he and I, we knew things about each other that nobody else knew, and those memories and that incredible bond we had as brothers for so long is what keeps me going every day. I miss him so bad, but I hear his voice and I know he’s always kicking my ass, but that’s good enough for me. I’ve still got Ian, the younger brother. He’s as big as Merv.
Today I’m going to leave you with some things I was thinking of while I was taking a walk today. I narrated them to Michelle, and she smiled a lot, so I guess it’s pretty good. It’s a little bit of knowing me.
Happy Monday everybody. Keep safe.
And now it’s time to close our eyes and our thoughts, if only for a moment…and rest.
I took a walk today and it was a beautiful day. The sun was out, it started to get a bit warmer, and inside I had a feeling that, no matter what, things will work out, because that’s the kind of stuff I’m built with.
I’ve been so busy all of these years, fighting and just trying to stay alive, that I forgot how to live. So when I started this writing, it took me away from all of it. I wasn’t just staring at myself in windows downtown, with the wind blowing at me. I was making sense. And then the music…and after that it all just changed.
The harder I fought to find something wrong with it all, the more intense my drive became to make it happen, and it did. I am not a learned man by books and school. I grew up watching life, and all these years later, when I sit with Michelle and we do our work, I feel very satisfied that things are going the right way. I haven’t quite got a handle on this ‘doing the right thing’ stuff, but I’m working on it, and I have Michelle constantly reminding me.
I never said I was better than anybody else. I just wanted to matter. I tried to do things the way people said I should do them, but it wasn’t me. I’m getting old, but what I’m doing now is exactly where I started, and this is exactly what I should be doing. So now I’m walking home and I’m thinking, Yeah, cocoa sounds nice.
(NEVER EVER GIVE UP)