Hello everyone, everywhere,

It’s been an odd week. It was two years yesterday that I lost my big brother Merv. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think about him and  remember that he took care of me. If he saw everything I was doing now, he would say, “Fuckin’ A”. He would be happy because he would see that I fight every day as hard as I can. All he wanted for me was to rest, but I couldn’t then and I certainly can’t now. I’ll rest when it’s over, and it’s not over yet.

Michelle’s doing great, and she’s always there for me. Always. If I get too sad she gives me a kick and vice versa. That’s how we work.

(On another note, a kid just went by on a scooter and I was laughing and lost my train of thought. I’m back now).

I really miss you, bro…I really miss you.

That’s it.



The day was fine for June. I was walking, you see–twisted and tangled with thoughts of the past that I could not quite remember.

I looked around this new bar. I was the first to arrive. Happy hour. Time to sit. There was one seat left in a booth for five. I smiled at the waitress and ordered a beer.  And I sat and watched the show. It was a roar of conversation–smiling people laughing and talking. No one noticed when I curled my ear to catch a word of truth.

The waitress came by. She was funny; I stayed for one more. Good job, girl.

As I paid up my tab, I realized that I had gone out because I didn’t want to spend another night sitting at home alone. Here I was at happy hour in a crowded bar. Seventeen years and I knew not one person. No one said hello, and no one said good-bye.

What a bizarre walk that was.

That’s all.

(Never ever give up)

By jamesghutcheson

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